It is Mother's Day today in Australia. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. I send you lots of love and acknowledgement. Motherhood is hard work and showing up with loving care for our children everyday deserves respect and admiration, every day!
We were not designed to do this in nuclear families. For hundreds of thousands of years, humans have lived in communities and tribes where the work of parenthood was shared. Mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins and other close females worked together to raise children. Birthing women were cared for and supported, with people tending to their older children as they prepared to birth and while they were caring for their newborns. Babies were breastfed and looked after by many women at the same time. Toddlers were played with by older children and looked after by all the women. Older children were guided in life by all the adults in the community. The other relentless work of mothers was also shared - laundry, making food, caring for our homes was all done communally with camaraderie and support.
We did not evolve to do this in nuclear families, alone and unsupported, having to go out to earn money and have our children in day care, with our older children away at school all day. We were not designed as humans to have to perform all the roles on our own, to undertake the never ending demands of daily life without help, with no one to talk to or share it with. We were not designed to live disconnected from each other, from our food, from our communities and tribes, or from our natural ways of living. And having to juggle all the other stresses, strains and demands of living in the modern world in these current times adds to the burden.
It is an absolutely essential part of our evolutionary design to be supported in motherhood, to be deeply connected to each other and to be living in communities raising our children, to be able to ask for and receive support, empathy and connection. So I send so much love to all of us, raising our children in such a different way, yearning for more support and connection and having to do it all alone. And I send love and compassion for all the times it feels bloody hard - of course it does! Let’s keep supporting each other, building community in any ways we can and offering each other empathy and understanding. If you want more help and support, I am here.