So many parents now are finding it incredibly stressful to navigate screens with their teenagers. It is such a universal challenge to see teenagers wanting to be on their phones all day, hiding in their rooms playing computer games, endlessly scrolling TikTok. Aware Parenting is so helpful to support us in this process. Here are some of the ways we can bring the aspects of Aware Parenting to find more ease and connection and trust about screens:
🩷 Getting support and listening for ourselves to come to a place of clarity about what we want this to look like in our family. Having a place to share our fears, frustrations and anger and all the other feelings that this brings up in us, enables us to have conversations with our teens free of the charge of our own painful feelings.
🩷 Having clear, respectful conversations with our teens, where we listen to what they have to say and share our thoughts too.
🩷 Coming to agreements together about how much time our teens will have on screens, when that might be and what that might include. These conversations we need to re-visit frequently and it's important to remember that our teens will need our listening and support to be able to stick to these agreements.
🩷 Listening to their feelings about screens and about limits on their screen use.
🩷 Offering attachment play and connection about screens, such as watching things together, learning how to play something they are really good at that we need a lot of their help with, sharing funny reels together.
🩷 Offering loving limits in relation to screens where we remind them that screen time is ending soon, that it's important to us to stick to the agreements we made and that we are here to listen to any feelings they might have about it.
🩷 Keeping offering Non Directive Child-Centred Play or Special Time, where you spend time together with your teen doing what they choose to do and enjoying being together. Other types of attachment play that are really helpful in this is power-reversal play, where we are weaker and slower and less capable than them, and contingency play where they get to be in charge, telling us what to do.
🩷 Finding many ways to meet their needs for choice and autonomy in relation to other things that are important to them.
🩷 Getting more listening for us. And then some more!
If this is something that you are navigating at the moment and finding challenging, you are not alone! If you want support with this or any other aspect of Aware Parenting, I am here for you. My Aware Parenting Teenagers course is full of ideas and support on this too.
